I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
