literally had 100 drinks last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
