In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
