My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
