If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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