So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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