You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize