this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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