when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
