If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
