Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
