If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
DRUNK COOKIES
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