I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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