i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
