you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
