guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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