I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
