So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Randomize
