thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
