Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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