My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
