Where is the hickey?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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