physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My feet surprised me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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