Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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