I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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