I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
