So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize