The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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