Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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