I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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