Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Randomize
