its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
