I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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