Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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