New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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