I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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