Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
