so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
