He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
