and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
