Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize