If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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