i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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