Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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