there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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