She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
