Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
