Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize