We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
