i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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