Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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