she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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