Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
