jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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