i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
third nipple confirmed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
