Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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