is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My ass is underappreciated
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
