If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
