Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
