Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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